Hello, and welcome to my world.
My name is Tim and I write sharp, character-driven fiction blending humour, heart, and the occasional touch of the strange.
I was supposed to be a failure.
I hated school. School in the 80s was not equipped to deal with autistic ADHD dyslexics, and I was written off as a lost cause. Look at me now, bitches! (I'm gay and prone to calling people bitches. Nothing personal.)
I didn't know I was any good at entertaining with words until I started writing letters home to loved ones when I was in the army. Turns out I've got a bit of a whacky sense of humour.
Oops, yes, notice my spelling. Humour. I'm not American (whew). I am South African by birth and Kiwi by immigration.
Where was I? ADHD, remember? Oh yes, the SANDF, or the South African National Defense Force, Infantry Division. What can I say about the army? Two things, really. 1, it was the best two years of my life that I never want to repeat, and 2, it provided a smorgasbord of humorous anecdotes that friends back home loved so much they would check the mailbox daily.
Like the time a visiting general (very big wig in the army, do NOT piss him off) had to push my Buffel (army truck, pronounced biffil, the Afrikaans for Buffalo) up a steep hill because I had stalled it and it had no battery. Africa, you understand. Anyway, he ended up ploughing belly first into the mud, which was hugely entertaining. What happened when we got back to base was less entertaining, for me, anyway.
Um...school...Army...oh yes. Letters! That was the sort of anecdote I would write home about, but being the lazy bastard that I am, or maybe just a writer's prerogative to avoid verbosity, it felt pointless writing the same thing to three different friends, so I would tear the letter into thirds and mail one piece to each.
Okay, you should have a sense of who I am by now, so please snoop around my website, check out my books, poetry and news, and say hello if you feel so inclined - I'd love that.
See you later.
